The Beast Within

Wow! It’s been a long time since I wrote a blog entry. It has actually been a long time since I wrote anything. I am back in IIT and life has slowly slipped itself into the old routine of spending time at my DCF (department computational facility) and sitting and chatting with friends at our usual hangout places. There is one difference though, a big one. This is the last year we will be spending in this glorious place called IIT. There is a look of anticipation and nervousness on everyone’s face. Will we get a good job, will we get an MS in a reputed american university, and will we be able to make it to the IIMs. These are some of the questions on everyone’s mind. Although most of us are looking forward to the new challenges we’ll be facing in the ‘real’ world, all of us are afraid at a certain level about leaving the secure and carefree life that IIT has provided us for the last couple of years. The happy days are going to end soon. But our world will not end with a whimper; it will end with a bang.

For the first time in many years I have achieved the kind of focus I always wanted. I have slowly been feeding the monster of competitiveness which had been lying dormant inside me for the last five years. This is one side of me which most of my friends have never seen and which most of them wouldn’t like. But I have learnt a very valuable secret in the last few years: I have learned how to tame this beast that I can become. However, I am unleashing it now and the world will have to live with this new change and accept me for who I am. This is the only way I can achieve the targets I have set out for myself. I will revert back to the good old me as soon as this personal mission is fulfilled.

My summer training ended on a cheerful note. DRL was happy with me and I was happy with them. The time spent there made me realize that I was an excellent engineer and the time I had spent in the classroom over the last three years hadn’t gone to waste. It however strengthened my conviction of not working in the field of Chemical Engineering.

Life has been worrying me for some days now and my father has been trying to cheer me up. He gave me some advice the other day which can be perfectly summarized by one of Cat Stevens' song. I hope some day I am able to give the same advice to my son.

It's not time to make a change,
Just relax, take it easy.
You're still young, that's your fault,
There's so much you have to know.
Find a girl, settle down,
If you want you can marry.
Look at me, I am old, but I'm happy.

I was once like you are now, and I know that it's not easy,
To be calm when you've found something going on.
But take your time, think a lot,
Why, think of everything you've got.
For you will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not.

I would like to end this blog by wishing all my friends the very best of luck with their GREs. Congratulations to all those who got a job in the last week.